I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
