Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
