after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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