Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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