it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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