I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
