I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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