i permit you to call me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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