My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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