he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dear god my vagina.
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