I just cut my nipple shaving
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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