we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
