So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
