Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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