no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
