To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
