But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
