she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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