I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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