Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
