Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
