I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
