It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
