Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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