I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
