We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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