I wish life had little blips of pornography
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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