I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
