Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you had me at cake vodka
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
