that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
