Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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