I wish I only lived at night.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
