If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
