dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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