i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize