): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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