i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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