also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
