Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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