i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
