Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
