I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
