My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
