dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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