she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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