My brain says no but my pants say off.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
