i just google imaged poop.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize