hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize