She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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