it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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