i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
