you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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