i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
