I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize