but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize