Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
