Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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