Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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