he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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