Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
